Humorous quotes - Groucho Marx

'I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members!'

'I must confess, I was born at a very early age!'

'I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.'

'I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception!'

'I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury!'

'A child of 5 could understand this! Fetch me a child of 5'

'Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others!'

'A black cat crossing your path signifies that an animal is going somewhere!'

'From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday, I intend reading it!'

'The secret if life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made!!'