Real adverts

The 'specials board' in a restaurant-

'Dinner special: Turkey £2.35

Chicken or beef £2.55

Children £2.00'

Sign in an antique shop window -

For Sale: An antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers!

Sign in a jewellers -

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too!

Advert for a dry cleaners -

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it,carefully, by hand.

Car sales sign -

Used cars: Why go anywhere else to be cheated? Come here first!

Vacancy notice for a farm:

Wanted: Man to take care of cow that doesn't smoke or drink.

Retail store -

Semi-annual-after-Christmas Sale!!

Erm, what???

Church bulletin -

Weds pm the Ladies' Liturgy will meet. Mrs Johnson will sing Put me in my little bed accompanied by the pastor

Sign in a restaurant -

Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the Manager.

No thanks!

Sign in a Department store -

Bargain Basement Upstairs

(think about this one...)

Sign at a railway station-

Station closed for official opening.

Sign in a staff canteen -

After tea-break staff should empty teapot and stand upside down on draining board.

Hope there's enough room for them all!!