The Major General's Song
 |
This is the second part of a long reading exercise about Gilbert and Sullivan The two parts can be done independently, or as a pair. see part one |
It is a good idea to read the words and the notes before you listen to the song - you'll soon realise why! There is a little bit of 'stage business' before the song proper begins after nearly a minute. Don't worry if you can't understand everything - you'll be in good company! What people find funny is the clever wordplay.
Stage directions make it clear that at the end of each verse the Major-General must hesitate and appear lost for a rhyme - and this adds to the amusement of the character. The character does not do this particularly well here, but it can be very amusing.
When you have heard the song through a couple or more times, you may wish to watch this sing-along version, which has no pictures, but does have the words on screen - some misspelt. If you can keep up (= go at the same speed) you'll be doing very, very well!! Most English people would not be able to.
GENERAL
I am the very model of a modern Major-General,
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news,
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
ALL: With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypote - potenuse.
GENERAL:
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus;
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
ALL: In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
He is the very model of a modern Major-General.
GENERAL:
I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's;
I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox,
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus,
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous;
I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies,
I know the croaking chorus from the Frogs of Aristophanes!
Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore (= before),
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.
ALL: And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.
GENERAL:
Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform,
And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
ALL: In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
He is the very model of a modern Major-General.
GENERAL:
In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin",
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin,
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at, (here =I'm more aware of)
And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat",
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery-
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy,
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee (= on a horse).
ALL: You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee.
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee.
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee.
GENERAL:
For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury,
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century;
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
ALL: But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
He is the very model of a modern Major-General.
Notes
Notice the inversion of usual word order in: information vegetable, animal, and mineral / fights historical /
in order categorical / matters mathematical. We do sometimes do this in everyday exchanges - eg 'there are various matters domestic and professional to deal with'.
Marathon to Waterloo - famous military battles. The Marathon took place 2500 years ago between Persia and Greece! Waterloo, fought in Belgium in 1815, marked the defeat of Napoleon by a coalition of Prussia with Britain.
the square of the hypotenuse - i.e. Pythagoras' theorem - in full this is 'the square of the hypotenuse of a right triangle is equal to the sum of the squares on the other two sides.'
animalcule - a microscopic organism (eg an amoeba or a paramecium). The joke here lies in the attempt to make the rhyme!
King Arthur and Sir Caradoc - Two knights from the legends of King Arthur
an acrostic - a poem or puzzle in which the first letter in each line form one or more 'hidden' words (or similarly the last letter, or the first-and-last, or some other pattern). Acrostic puzzles were something of a craze in Victorian England. Even Queen Victoria supposedly composed the one below, giving the list of the months of the year:
JANet was quite ill one day.
FEBrile trouble came her way.
MARtyr-like, she lay in bed;
APRoned nurses softly sped ...
elegiac - a verse form composed of couplets (two-line units)
Heliogabulus was one of the worst of the Roman emperors
conics / parabolous - more mathematics!
THE FROGS - a Greek play by the 'Father of Comedy' Aristophanes from about 400 BC, so nearly 2500 years old!
fugue - music: a contrapuntal [counterpoint] composition in which a short melody is introduced by one part and successively taken up by others
din = a noise
afore = oldfashioned for before
Pinafore - a reference to their own work, so an in-joke.
Part of the humour here is that many of the Major-General's "accomplishments" are easy ones, even trivial:
"I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies." What could be easier? Raphael painted normal-sized paintings; Dow did miniatures, and Zoffany was noted for massive canvasses busily filled with vast numbers of people and objects.
"And tell you every detail of Caractacus's uniform." There's not much detail to remember! Caractacus fought naked. (He led British resistance to the Roman conquest, 43 A.D.)
"I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical." Typically taught to students at age 14.
"I know the croaking chorus from the Frogs of Aristophanes!" How hard is it to remember "Brekekekax koax koax" from this Greek comedy?
cuneiform; cuniform - the ancient writing of Persia, Assyria
mamelon - a rounded hillock; a rounded elevation or protuberance
ravelin - defensive fortification
Mauser - German gun manufacturer
javelin - a long stick with a pointed end which is thrown in sports competitions
a sortie - a mission deploying aircraft or ships
I'm more wary at - here = I'm more aware of; usually wary of sth = cautious about sth
a smattering - a very small amount or number. Eg I only know a smattering of Polish
gee - a word of command to a horse to move faster - hence gee-gee - a child's word for a horse. The Major-General is desperate for a rhyme!
adventury is invented - the correct adjective would be adventurous
