Business one-liners 2

Don't bite that hand that has your pay packet in it!

Blessed are those who go round in circles, for they shall be known as wheels!

Don't blame me; nobody asked my opinion!

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine!

Don't do today what you can put off till tomorrow!

Confession is good for the soul but bad for the career!

Blessed are those who expect no gratitude, for they shall not be disappointed!

Competition brings out the best in products and the worst in people!

Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it!

Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it!

Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation!

Say no; then negotiate!

Do someone a favour, and it becomes your job!

Don't be irreplaceable; if you cannot be replaced, you cannot be promoted!

Each problem solved introduces a new unsolved problem!

Progress is made as a result of lazy people looking for an easier way to do things!

Teamwork is essential; it allows you to blame someone else!

The moment for calm and rational discussion is past, now is the time for senseless bickering!

The longer the title, the less important the job!

The one who does the least work will get the most credit!

The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on!

There's always one more idiot than you counted on!

There's no limit to how bad things can get!

The trouble with life is it's a do-it-yourself kit without any instructions!